INTRO
Since this is my first post, I just wanted to connnect with you reader, and give you a warm welcome. My goal is to stay up to date witha most recent dream, which you can find at the top of the home page. There will also be a plethora of archived dreams to sift through; these are dreams I've recorded over the past year. I actually first write them in an app in my phone, since I tend to write some in the middle of the night when it's dark. The dreams are shorter at first, and then over time grow in detail and drama. I paired these dreams with artwork I've made over the years that somehow relates to the dream. I try to share my dreams in an honest and transparent way, without naming names or including too triggering, violent, or overtly sexual details. I am not editing them beyond recognition; I believe in preserving the rawness of each dream. They are written in what I hope is a digestible stream-of-consciousness style. I do not go into analysis on this blog, but have recently started experimenting with that on a personal level. There is a wide range of emotional content here, from nightmarish panic to laugh out loud funnies.
I began seriously attempting to recall dreams about 6-8 months ago. If you're someone who is experimenting with keeping a dream journal, you'll notice that over time, recall improves with consistent journaling. That means remembering more dreams, discovering where one dream ends and another begins, and eventually remembering multiple dreams per night. Over time, dream recall becomes more vivid, detailed, and lengthy. The writing practice becomes a habit. Another "side effect" I'd like to share is a deepened interest and dedication to sobriety, relaxation, and meditation. A clear mind is a gift. I am 3 years alchohol free, and several months THC free. I have been experimenting with herbal medicines that aid in dreaming, such as Blue Lotus and Mugwort tinctures and teas.
I do have the side goal of developing lucid dreaming skills. I've had a few earlier in my life and some recent ones as well, that I will be sharing in the future. However, lucidity is not the ultimate goal for me. I am playing the long game. I appreciate non-lucid dreams just as much as lucid ones. Dreaming is a path to self-discovery, and has taught me more about myself in the past several months than I've learned in many years of therapy. And that's the raw truth.
Without further ado, here it is...
LAST NIGHT'S DREAM
I had kind of a sleep paralysis last night I believe. I was sleeping in a 3 story apartment/home with my husband. In this dream, it felt like real home even though it was not a replica of our current living situation in waking life. We had been talking about dusting off these big brown leather couches that we had in storage and then went to bed.
I guess my husband went into another room, and I had been alone in the bedroom for a while getting ready for bed. I got into bed and rolled on my side like I usually do. I would start to fall asleep, but would suddenly get jerked awake. I kept getting pulled backwards by some invisible force which I intuitively identified as a poltergeist or spirit. It was not letting me sleep and kept tormenting me. It would pull me backwards each time, and my body would slide backwards on the bed about a foot. The backwards jerking sensation was one I could feel in my whole body vividly, terrifyingly. My husband came back to sleep next to me and when I told him what was happening, he didn’t believe me. I kept telling him what would happen when he left the room, and he said it was "hard for him to see me in this mood". I was like, "it’s not a mood, it’s something actually tormenting me!" I was crying and being a bit hysterical. I knew it was a ghost or something I couldn’t see. The last time I was pulled back I was the most scared, and was definitely in sleep paralysis. I became semi-lucid. I felt heat, heightened heartbeat, and pins and needles/tingles throughout my entire body. I decided to consciously try to send the terrifying force love and light, projecting a bright pink forcefield around my body. At that point, either I was seeing the back of my eyelids or I had my eyes closed in the dream, I'm not sure which one was happening. I saw this swirling, sparkling, liquid-like pinkness surrounding my vision.
That must have worked to break the paralysis, because I woke up in waking life and my husband had also awoken. He told me I was talking in my sleep and asked if I was ok. I later found out I had murmured the words "thank you". I got up to go to the bathroom and had the chills really bad up and down my spine. This dream is important to me because it's the first time I was able to become somewhat lucid and project love onto the negativity and fear during a night terror.
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